Coupling
by cecinaj
Summary: Potterverse X Coupling. Set AU Marauders Era. No Voldemort, no wars. James and Lily know each other through friends, but nothing came from it while at Hogwarts. Now out on their own, James and Lily navigate life and love...with their best friends and exes in tow. These are the sandboxes JK Rowling and Steven Moffat created. I'm just playing in them.


**Author's Note: So I had this idea of making a Potter/Coupling crossover where the characters of Harry Potter would be the characters in Coupling. All characters belong to JK Rowling and Steven Moffat. I just take them out to play.**

* * *

James Potter walked quickly down the street, a man on a mission. His friend, Peter Pettigrew, ran up to catch up to him. "Are you really going to do it," Peter asked James.

"Oh yeah," James replied determinedly, "this time."

Meanwhile, Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon were walking down another street, both with purpose. Marlene looked at her friend. "Did he say what he wanted?"

Lily looked back. "Not a word."

Marlene raised her eyebrows and thought for a moment. "Maybe he's going to propose."

Lily laughed.

"Do you think she knows you're going to dump her," asked Peter. James gave Peter a look.

"She ought to know by now. I've dumped her the last four times I've seen her," he stepped over the curb, not breaking stride.

Peter's puzzled. "So what goes wrong?"

James sighed resignedly. "We have sex."

Peter gaped at James incredulously. "You have sex?"

"She makes me," James snapped.

"She makes-how?" Peter grabbed James by the arm, stopping him.

James turned and faced Peter. "She suggests it."

Peter's eyes still widen. "She suggests it?"

"Exactly," snaps James. He turned back around and continued walking.

Peter's wide eyes could not get any wider. He momentarily contemplates the implications of a woman postponing a breakup with sex.

"Evil," he breathes, before rushing to catch up with James.

Meanwhile, Lily and Marlene continue walking. Marlene looks at Lily, "You said you had a fantastic time last weekend."

"Yeah," said Lily. Marlene smirked.

"Maybe he's thinking, you know."

Lily smirked. "One swallow doesn't make a summer," she replied as they both walked down the street to a disillusioned bar.

James and Peter continued to walk. James continued, "So the last time I dumped her, we had, like, amazing, fantastic, borderline illegal sex. Now she thinks we're back on."

Peter looked indignant on his friend's behalf. "Well, that's ridiculous!"

James agreed. "I know! One swallow doesn't make her my girlfriend!"

Lily and Marlene went to the bar to make their order. Marlene looked solemnly at her friend. "May you should marry him," she suggested.

Lily turned to look at her friend. "It's not like that, it's all very casual. It's really just sex with a fringe of conversation."

Marlene looked at her in disbelief. "What if he's your last ever man? What if you used up your girls?"

Lily tried to keep a straight face. "Remember," continued Marlene, "Every morning, your face has slipped a little more."

Lily just continued to look at Marlene, barely concealing her amusement. "Since thirty, I've had to put a limit on facial expressions." Marlene looked up thoughtfully. "I only ever smile at single men, so that I can justify the loss of elasticity," she ended with a grin.

Lily just smiled, holding back her laughter. "Is this how your mind works all the time," she queried as she grabbed their drinks to take to their seats.

"The only reason I work is so that I stop worrying about my hair," Marlene replied.

Lily continued to their seats. "This coming from my beautician."

"Which reminds me," said Marlene, "facial, Wednesday evening."

Lily turned and faced her. "Yeah, which just don't count every time you find a wrinkle."

Marlene looked shocked and surprised. "Do I do that out loud?"

Lily looked at her incredulously. "You have a running total in my file!" she exclaimed. As she sat down, she continued, "Marlene, does it ever occur to you that age brings wisdom and greater confidence?"

Marlene sat down and scoffed. "Lily, age brings you more to shave." Lily just looked to the side with laughter on her face.

Meanwhile, James was pacing back and forth in front of the stairs to the disillusioned wizarding bar downstairs. Peter leaned against the railing, looking thoughtful.

"So you dump her and she does this suggesting thing," he mused out loud.

James turned and faced him. "Yeah. I'm just about to leave and I'm thinking, I am finally out, and she just leans over, looks me in the eye, and goes, I'm wearing stockings."

Peter looked in shock. "No!"

"Yes!" hissed James. "She never worn them before, not once in the entire relationship. I begged!" He resumed his pacing.

Peter looked out thoughtfully. "Yeah, but James, you're entitled to her stockings! "

James paused and turned around. "Am I," he asked confusedly.

Peter walked up to James, "Yes, you're still in the zone!"

"The what?"

"The boyfriend zone. This is the tailing off period." He looked earnestly at James, starting to count on his fingers, "You still have a load of stuff at her flat. You might have a wedding or two to go together. You're under joint headings under your friends address books."

James internally rolled his eyes. "And that means I'm entitled to see her underwear?"

"If it comes to that! That's the rules of the zone!" Peter looked solemnly at James, shaking his hand. "Good luck in there, James."

James gave a small smile. "You're a strange and disturbing man, Peter."

Peter gave a grin and walked away. As James walked to the stairs, Peter called out, "James!"

James turned around as Peter came bounding back. "Do you know what I call this kind of woman?" asked Peter, "The type that you can't get rid of?"

James folded his arms and fought to keep his mouth from grinning. "Is this going to be really tasteless?"

Peter chuckled. "Am I going to be ashamed to be your friend," asked James.

Peter continued to chuckle. "It's a technical term, a harmless expression."

James sighed resignedly. "Alright, hit me."

Peter grinned. "Unflushable," he proclaimed.

James looked up and replied, "Turn around Peter, walk away."

Peter tried to explain, "Because they keep bobbing around – "

"Go Peter!" exclaimed James. "Go! Go."

Peter started walking away, a sad puppy, and then stopped to look back. "Don't look back! Go!"

James then shook his head and walked down the stairs to the bar below.


End file.
